Search Results

“... I left the protectionof my plan & mythinking. I let my selfgo. Is this hope Ithought. Light fled.We have a worldto lose I thought.Summer fled. Thewaters rose. How do I organisemyself now. How do Ifind sufficientignorance. How do Inot summariseanything. Is this mystery,this deceptively complexlack of design. No sumtowards which to strive. No general truth ...”

“... Are weextinct yet. Who ownsthe map. May Ilook. Where is myclaim. Is my historyverifiable. Have Iincluded the memoryof the animals. The animals’memories. Are theystill here. Are wealone. Lookthe filamentsappear. Of memories. Whose? What waslandlike. Did it movethrough us. Something says nonstopare you hereare your ancestorsreal do you have abody do you haveyr self inmind can you see yrhands – have you broken itthe thread – try to feel thepull of the otherend – make sureboth ends arealive when u pull totry to re-enterhere ...”

“... The spacesbetweenthings beganspeaking. So it wasI understood Iwas nowto remainsilent. Saw howwe were allplungedinto this new strengtheningsilence. Was itvision was itcatastrophe. Thisfirst personI use hereas a way of referringto my being inabeyance – to myunknowing –though who are we kidding,it was not of the radiant kindwhere we wait in linewillinglyeyes closedfor the tap on the high spotof the soulfor illumination ...”

“... Listen the voice is American it would reach you it has wiring in its swan’s neck                where it is                always turning round to see behind itself as it has no past to speak of except some nocturnal journals written in woods where the fight has just taken place or is about to                take place                for place the pupils have firelight in them where the man a surveyor or a tracker still has                no idea what                is coming the wall-to-wall cars on the 405 for the ride home from the cubicle or the corner                office – how big the difference – or the waiting all day again in line till your number is                called it will be                called which means exactly nothing as no one will say to you as was promised by all eternity ‘ah son, do you know where you came from, tell me, tell me your story as you have come to this                Station’ – no, they                did away with                the stations                and the jobs                the way of                life and your number, how you hold it, its promise on its paper, if numbers could breathe each one of these would be an                exhalation, the last breath of something and then there you have it: stilled: the exactness: the number: your                number ...”

“... I can’t really remember now. The soundless foamed. A crow hung like a cough to a wire above me. There was a chill. It was a version of a crow, untitled as such, tightly feathered in the chafing air. Rain was expected. All round him air dilated, as if my steady glance on him, cindering at the glance-core where it held him tightest, swelled and sucked, while round that core, first a transition, granular – then remembrance of thing being seen – remembrance as it thins-out into matter, almost listless – then, sorrow – if sorrow could be sterile – and the rest fraying off into all the directions, variegated amnesias – lawns, black panes, screens the daylight thralls into in search of well-edged things … If I squint, he glints ...”

“... needed explanation because of the mystic nature of the theory and our reliance on collective belief I could not visualise the end the tools that paved the way broke the body the foundation the exact copy of the real our surfaces were covered our surfaces are all covered actual hands appear but then there is writing in the cave we were deeply impres ...”

“... of my own died. Idid not die. Mylove did not. Is intact. Ichecked. Belovedswere not draggedinto the net ofthe eye ofthe drone, were not dis-membered intoinstant ancestors –not even memories, toofast, too torn, no. Screams. Wewoke. The suncame first inveins of red then rips,pinks, then rose asusual. Wedidn’t look up, atefast, were late, the day filledup, we askedall ourquestions – whatquestions werethose – I heard acardinal, it’sSpring – sosuddenly – soonit was eveningagain ...”

“...                                                             the laying down on                                                             the earth of the five-fingered silvermailed open hand of the Iguana. Life size. Look. Everything in life turns out to be                                                             life- size ...”

“... After the rain stops you can hear the rained-on. You hear oscillation, outflowing, slips. The tipping-down of the branches, the down, the exact weight of those drops that fell over the days and nights, their strength, accumulation, shafting down through the resistant skins, nothing perfect but then also the exact remain of sun, the sum of the last not-yet-absorbed, not-yet-evaporated days ...”

“... Can this write the future, its ooze and stiffening. With whom am I speaking. It sounds like a receiver off the hook a long time. It’s weeping. And you can’t say please stop to the future, it will not stop, it will not stop listening to you as you approach it, always clearer always louder – please stop listening future, but no it does not speak, it just leans in a bit & hears us as we come towards it – & once you think it you must think it – there is no way to recover what we were before – it will not fade – it’s only a thought but it will not fade – unnerving me, its only witness ...”

“... Again today the dream. But of what? The dream like a long slim tunnel we lay ourselves down in – the lilies in the dust, the face that seems to shine in the linoleum – blue – the thing we would strip down to if – the melting snow allowing, the faint falling-sound receding … But the nature of the dream will not appear for us. It lightens the air immeasurably as if it were itself a kind of dawn, but only its form appears, a stillness too elaborate for minds like roots, minds that are roots, to comprehend – (when what we wanted most, of course, was to believe, be loved) – oh comprehension, such a small hissing sound it makes on this still air, that exhalation, little path in its own right the dream lays down ...”

“... stillness. Stillness in time. Rich concentrate. Late summer late-day light. Over but not on magenta. Of. Of dahlia-heads. Of serrated leaves trimmed gold. Plush stalk lost-still in non-moment. All awake but no wakefulness. Low. Small. Snug in flooding light. Unwilled. No speed of anything, no, no motion on surface because suddenly no surface, all a mechanism yes but now neither on nor off, & shining, & not even a frill of breeze – as if there had never been time – as if being had never been or not been – no containing, no cause/effect thing, no, all swallowed by unmovingness of all things ...”

“... Then the Rainafter years of virga, aftermuch almost& much never again, aftercoalescing in drylightning & downdrafts & fire,after taking an alternatepath thruhistory & bypassingus, after the trees,after the gardens,after the hard seedspushed in as deep aspossible & kept alive on dew,after the rutswhich it had once cutfilled in withdust & moulds – & podsthat cannot sprout –not even the birdscame – & old roadsbegan to reappear –after the animals,after the smallest creaturesin their tunnels & undertheir rocks,after it all went, then,one day,out of in-terference & dis-continuity, out of in-congruity,out of collisionsomewhere high above ourburnt lands, out ofchemistry, unknowableno matter howquantifiable,out of the touching of one atom by another, out of theaccident oftouch, the raincame ...”

“... I think this is all somewhere inside myself, the incessant burning of my birth             all shine             lessening as also all low-flame             heat of love: and places loved: space time and people heightening, burning, then nothing:             alw ...”

“... see me what did u see did u scrape what I asked u for asked u to make me into asked &asked there is a name in the body of this blood-rush which u parse in-correctly, I know u think u connect the dots of my inquiry the date of the last revolution thepressure cooker the flesh the right temperature whom do u have locked away in thebasement this time – it is always the same answer they shall stand on line they r covert as inu shall not see them u shall look away where is the nearest place where workis – we wish to be heard and overheard – are u not listening – why taser me who am paintinggraffiti on the abandoned McDonald’s wall in North Miami into my heart you shall shockmy life out of me you shall not see a trace of me please surveil please see what I happenedto search for out of having nothing real given me to do what shall I write on this screen nowI have written it again and again throughout all eternity at this desk in these clothes do yousee me as I am now clothed with my uselessness at your screen begging you to see me seemy circumstances clothe me with a genuine gaze fatal so be it but actual see me as theproject I am for this planet, earth, the one who needs work, accursed, material, my self, myone singular war memorial, my own native land, temporary, what shall I search for in thecity of searches, part of the circuitry in here with you, animated, these are not actualwords, they come out as integers you track, where are the crumbs, where are the woods tomy right to life – see the word appear here before us both – happiness – full of carbon andsystems – and do you not hear any of the murmuring down at the dead end ofthis street, I’m not complaining, I am the temporary, a crime against humanity, I am thetemporary, u are adding more versions of me to the offices of humanity, I am even moretemporary, a row of boarded-up queries, are u wondering why the tenses here are soscattered, why they don’t add up to the time u search for me in ...”